I don't even have to go to Kurve to criticize this review. Reading Bruni's scree, we might learn something about Kurve's décor. We might have learned something about its telephone issues. We learned that its DJ has eclectic taste in music. We might have thought he would discuss the food, after his teasing reference to spaghetti carbonara on an otherwise Asian menu, but Alas! Poor Bruni, I did know him well. We had to wade through more information about its servers' dressing habits (perhaps, they keep a milliner on staff?), before yet another tease about the menu. Finally, food?! No, no, a thousand times no.
If reviewing Kurve is "is shooting gills, fins and shells in a barrel," why can't I learn anything about the food?